As we celebrate Father’s Day in Indonesia (12 November 2025), I’m reminded of the message behind the parenting best-selling book, “Tanpa Ayah, Tanpa Arah — Fatherless, Aimless Life: Fathering the Loneliest Gen. The book explores how fatherlessness is not just a private pain, but a growing social phenomenon with deep psychological and societal consequences.
Globally, research shows that children who grow up without an engaged father are at 2–3 times higher risk of experiencing depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and lower academic performance (Harvard Child Development Study, 2023). In Indonesia, it’s estimated that 1 in 3 children experience some form of father absence — whether physical, emotional, or psychological.
In the book, co-authored by myself and Agung Setiyo Wibowo, we described several factors contributing to this silent crisis:
1. Cultural misconceptions about the father’s role — viewing fathers mainly as providers, not nurturers.
2. Long working hours and poor work-life balance, particularly in urban centers.
3. Extreme commuting times, such as 3–4 hours daily for those living in Bekasi and working in Jakarta.
4. Lack of education and awareness about fathering skills and emotional intelligence.
5. Personal ambition and material pursuit often prioritized above family, health, and faith.
6. Non-family-friendly workplace policies, making father involvement harder.
The impact of fatherlessness extends beyond families. It correlates with rising mental illness, youth delinquency, and relationship instability. When fathers disengage, children often lose not just a role model but a sense of direction — emotionally, morally, and socially.
Conversely, research consistently affirms that active, nurturing fathers contribute to better mental health outcomes, higher resilience, and stronger empathy in children (APA, 2024). A healthy family, anchored by present fathers and mothers, becomes society’s first line of defense against social decay — from violence and addiction to loneliness and burnout.
As Indonesia dreams of Golden Indonesia 2045, we must also invest in Fatherhood — where fathers are not just breadwinners, but bridge-builders of cognitive ability, softskill, self-esteem, love, identity, and wellbeing.
A stronger father means a stronger family.
A stronger family means a stronger nation.
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